St. Expedite Service Begins April 19th

Lights will be set and offerings will be made starting the night of Tuesday, April 19th. There is some wiggle room and you can join up after the work starts as long as you see that there are still spots left and it doesn’t say “sold out.” 

Have a glass-encased vigil light fixed, dressed, blessed, set on my St. Expedite altar, and burned for you in a community altar work service for this famed and beloved patron saint of fast results.

St. Expedite’s feast day is April 19th, and while you can petition him any day of the year, you might be able to get a little extra bang for your buck on his feast day. 

But beyond that, his feast day would be an excellent time to thank him for for previous services rendered if you already work with him but don’t have the time/space to do anything very elaborate with altars or offerings. Or if you are thinking about working with him and haven’t established a relationship yet, this would be a great opportunity to “introduce yourself.”

In addition to being the saint one petitions for fast results and luck in a hurry, St. Expedite is also the patron saint invoked against procrastination. He’s called on to help break through blockages and end delays, so his help is often sought for matters needing Road Opening and Blockbuster-type work. He’s also the patron of computer programmers. 

In some regions and traditions, he is also known as an ally for sending away annoying people or things in a hurry. 

Read more or book now at Seraphin Station.

St. Raymond Altar Service: Stop Gossip, Court Case, Peaceful Home, Employment

San Ramon Nonato, Jose Aragon, American (New Mexico), c.1820-1835
Philadelphia Museum of Art. Public domain.

This work begins the night of August 31, the feast day of St. Raymond Nonnatus, but there is some wiggle room and you absolutely can book late, as long as you see slots still available.

St. Raymond Nonnatus gets his name — which means the not-born — by virtue of his being delivered by C-section. Considering this happened in the early 13th century, it was quite an unusual event (and doubtless quite grisly), but his poor mother died in childbirth and this was the only way Raymond could be saved.

This is where his patronage of pregnant women, childbirth, midwives, and babies comes from. But as is typically the case, there’s a whole slew of additional lore and tradition that has sprung up around him that accounts for many aspects of his veneration today, as in ages past.

He’s sometimes pictured with his lips padlocked shut. This happened when he was in North Africa to ransom captured and enslaved Christians, which was the primary purpose of his religious order, the Mercederians, Members of the order would offer themselves in place of the Christian captive if they couldn’t meet the ransom demands of the Moors. This is how Raymond found himself in prison, held by captors who were not at all interested in being preached to or converted. Apparently he tried anyway, and the padlock was their response.

The link with gossip and covering the mouths of slanderers came about from popular associations with this iconography, so people petition him for help to stop gossip and slander and to silence their enemies and opponents (especially in court case work). This usage overlaps with peaceful home work in a lot of cases, where some element of gossip, slander, backtalk, or nagging is contributing to the lack of peace in a home, and I’ve seen him petitioned for this most often.

The second most popular usage I’ve encountered is probably money drawing/job-getting tied with peaceful home issues that don’t overlap with gossip/slander. Pregnancy and childbirth probably run a very distant third. (St. Gerard seems to have largely cornered that market among the folk practitioners I’ve talked to.)

Nonetheless, St. Raymond can be petitioned on issues relating to any of these. As with many saints, it’s traditional to thank him publicly for his intercession when he works for you.

Learn more or book your spot now at Seraphin Station.

St. Martha Altar Service: Steady Work, Fair Pay, Balance of Power, Peaceful Home, Domination — with Pay What You Can options

Sorry for getting this set up so late – my internet has basically been useless for about a month now, but they finally came to fix it, so I can finally connect via my computer again.

There’s currently a double rewards points bonus at the Seraphin Station shop good now until midnight August 5th.

This work begins the night of July 29th, the feast day of St. Martha, but there are several different modes of different lengths running concurrently here, so you absolutely can book late, as long as you see slots still available for the service you’re interested in.

St. Martha in the Bible:

“Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.” – John 11:5

Famously depicted in the Bible as getting stuck with all the cooking and cleaning while her sister Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and listened to him teach, St. Martha is the patron saint of servers, cooks, domestic workers, housewives,  and those in the hospitality industry – those who are behind the scenes making important things go even when nobody notices.


Her devotees will call on her for intercession when they need steady work, especially in these fields, or when they are having difficulty with their work, for instance if pay is slow in coming or a boss or manager is being unfair. She’s often called on to help with peace in the home, as well, as an extension of her association with the domestic sphere.

St. Martha the Dominator

Some legends have her leaving Bethany for France after Christ’s death and resurrection. William Caxton’s 1483 English translation of the Golden Legend tells how she tamed an infamous monster through her confidence in the power of God, her faith in the sign of the cross, and her skill in using the domestic tools with which she was familiar and comfortable.


And this was no garden variety baby dragon. It was really more of a sea monster, half beast and half fish, the offspring of the infamous Leviathan and some Galician beast. It was bigger than an ox and had the strength of a dozen lions (or bears, take your pick). It regularly sank ships and ate people.


Martha, being a badass, made short work of the beast by tying it up with her girdle (which can be understood in context as her belt). She didn’t need a sword or armor. 

The Golden Legend explains in detail how the creature defended itself from attack, and boy is it disgusting.
Read more about St. Martha, her history, and working with her in general at this main article.


These extra-scriptural legends account for much of her fame and reputation as a patron saint. She is called on for assistance by those who need to get the upper hand in any kind of relationship in which they find themselves “at the bottom of the totem pole.” In conjure and in the folk traditions of Latin America, she’s earned the title of St. Martha the Dominator, and she’s often called on when women want to dominate a man. 


But in this role as dominatrix, she is also petitioned to help employees get better treatment from their employers, for instance, especially if they are household employees like kitchen servants or nannies. So she is a great ally for all types of situations in which you are the underdog, or you might be taken for granted, or there’s a built-in power imbalance in a situation.


There is a tradition in some circles that she doesn’t like men and won’t work for them, but that’s not always necessarily true. It depends on what they’re asking her for and how they’re approaching her. You can read more about this and about working with Martha more generally at Big Lucky Hoodoo where there’s an entire article with lots of resources devoted just to working with St. Martha.


In orthodox Roman Catholicism, she is also the patron of dietitians, hemophiliacs, housewives, landlords, waitresses, servants, cooks, and women workers. Will she help a man in any of these roles?  I have certainly known her to. And that she assists in situations that don’t have anything to do with “dominating” someone should go without saying at this point.


Under the title of “St. Martha the Dominator,” she has gained a widespread reputation, and there is a ton of info out there on dominating work under her aegis. But just as you might call on St. Joseph under his title “St. Joseph the Worker” for work-related petitions, but you understand it’s the same saint, the same person, not two different people, so you can call on St. Martha for things that don’t involve wayward spouses at all. And you certainly don’t have to be a woman to call on her.


I’ve heard folks say she’s helped them with sibling issues in their family, like jealousy, or manipulative attention-grubbing, or rivalry.  I’ve also heard her called on by folks who are facing difficulties in managing their households because of strife or poverty; along with St. Joseph, she is a wonderful ally if you have a lot of mouths to feed and you are running short of money and resources to take care of them all. 

St. Martha Oil

My St. Martha formula is created from this sort of three-dimensional perspective of St. Martha rather than focusing only on her role as a dominator, and the same is true with this service I’m offering. While it’s suitable to use if you’re asking her help in getting the upper hand with a boss or returning a straying spouse, it’s also suitable to use if you’re setting lights to honor or thank her, if you want to invoke her aid for something specific, or if you’re seeking her help for something more general like patience or pragmatism.

Even when the difficulty is internal rather than interpersonal, St. Martha can help. If, for instance, you need help accepting the fact that right now in your life, you have to be waiting tables if you want to be able to stay in this town and have a shot at an acting career down the road; if you’re struggling with disappointment, envy, or resentment related to your current station in life; or if you need help accepting the things you cannot change while you’re figuring out how to change the things you can, then St. Martha can be a great ally for you.

Learn more about the service and the available options, including Pay What You Can if you’re facing financial difficulties and want to petition her for help, at the Seraphin Station shop.

St. Michael Niner Chaplet Bracelet

This one of a kind chaplet bracelet is handmade with 5mm ruby red glass beads, an ornate crucifix with a bronze-toned antiqued patina imported from Italy, a chain extension and lobster clasp if you want to wear it or secure it around a statue or rearview mirror, and a holy medal of St. Michael handpainted in bright and durable enamels. 

The saintly protector par excellence, Michael is called on to defend against dangers both spiritual and physical and from enemies both known and unknown.

Unclasped, this chaplet’s length from end to end is 8.75″. Will fit a 7.5″ wrist, but I’m happy to customize it if you need it shorter or longer. (Just allow a few extra days handling, please!) Medal measures 1″.

This style of chaplet is called a “niner” and is a popular and very portable way of doing a novena for a saint, of keeping your prayer beads close to hand when you’re traveling or need to be more discreet than a full-size rosary might allow, or of having a set of prayer beads the perfect size for wearing as a bracelet or keeping on your car’s rearview mirror or the door knob of your room or home.

One way of praying with a niner chaplet is to call on the saint’s aid on the medal, pray the Our Father x3, the Hail Mary x3, and the Glory Be x3 on the beads, and then the Apostle’s Creed on the crucifix.

Read more about St. Michael (and other saints and angels) in the education section at Big Lucky Hoodoo. And if you’ve never been sure how St. Michael can be a saint and an angel at the same time – and he most certainly is – you can get a little crash course in Catholic ontology at Seraphin Station.

This St. Michael piece is available at Seraphin Station or Etsy.

St. Lucy Chaplet Bracelet

This one of a kind chaplet bracelet is handmade with 5mm sapphire-blue glass beads, an ornate crucifix with a bronze-toned antiqued patina imported from Italy, a silver milagro imported from Mexico, and a holy medal of St. Lucy handpainted in bright and durable enamels. 

St. Lucy is petitioned for all kinds of things related to vision and light. She’s the patron saint of the blind and also of electricians, and her devotees call on her when they need to see more clearly, whether literally or figuratively. 

By extension, she’s considered a protector against the evil eye, can be called on to help you or someone you care about avoid the pitfalls of envy, and can be invoked for safe travel (fishermen in the Mediterranean have long painted eyes on the prows of their boats to help them navigate safely, and while this practice predates Christianity, it became associated with St. Lucy in many regions after her cult became enormously popular and widespread).

St. Lucy is an ally whenever you need clear insight or clear vision, and many folks working on their divination or clairvoyance skills will call on her as a patron of psychic vision as well (she and St. Clare of Assisi make a nice team for this purpose).

Available at Seraphin Station.

St. Matilda: Patron Saint of Mothers Whose Kids Are Entitled Little Shits

Descendant of a Saxon king and wife of a German one, St. Matilda (aka Maud) lived in the last quarter of the 9th century. She and her husband, King Henry the Fowler, were parents of Otto, who became the emperor of Germany; Henry Jr., who became the duke of Bavaria; Bruno, who became the archbishop of Cologne; Gerberga, who as a woman didn’t get much ink devoted to her in the historical record that wasn’t mostly about her politically important marriage (to Gilbert of Lotharingia, then Louis IV of France); and Hedwig, ditto (to Hugh the Great).

When the king died, Otto succeeded him, but Henry contested the succession. They fought about it off and on for years, with Henry even plotting Otto’s assassination at one point. Matilda was instrumental in their eventually making peace with each other, but no sooner were they reconciled than they teamed up and went after their mother’s property from her dowry, which she’d been frittering away (to their minds) by building a bunch of convents. They seized her goods and she fled into exile to a convent in Westphalia.

They were eventually reconciled through the efforts of Otto’s wife, Eadgyth, after which Matilda continued to help the poor, found hospitals, and build churches. She’s remembered as a pious and generous friend of the poor and of the medieval church who founded many important monasteries. Her sons went down in the history books as key figures in Western European history.

And they were. But they were also entitled little shits.

(Officially, St. Matilda is the patron of large families and widows. Her feast day is March 14.)


Sources

Butler, Alban. “St. Maud, Queen.” Lives of the Saints. New York: Benziger Bros., 1894. pp. 107-108. Available at Internet Sacred Text Archive.

Englebert, Omer. “St. Matilda or Maud (d. 968).” The Lives of the Saints. Christopher and Anne Fremantle, trans. New York: Barnes & Noble Books, 1994. pp. 101-102. First English ed., 1951.

Kampers, Franz. “Otto I, the Great.” The Catholic Encyclopedia, vol. 11. New York: Robert Appleton Company, 1911. Available at New Advent.

Further Reading

St. Matilda” at Saints Feast Family: Exploring Catholic Patron Saints of the Day & their Feasts. It has pictures, a link to a video showing off the collegiate church St. Servatius where St. Matilda is buried, and recipes for those who remember that saints’ days are called feast days, after all!